3 Things to Ditch that are Toxic to Women
As women, there are already plenty of things in life in our way. That glass ceiling does well and truly exist and we’re still very much battling for equality. I hope that when my daughter reaches adulthood, things are different and life is altogether easier for her. But right now, in the present there are things we can change straight away that are so toxic to women and how we treat one another.
The first thing is women’s magazines, you know the ones I mean. These magazines market themselves to be for women, but at their core they are spiteful and unkind. They boost sales by finding the most unkind and unflattering pictures of female celebrities they can and then shaming them for it. They gossip, create false rumours and breed a culture of negativity and perfectionism. Of course celebrities have cellulite, bad hair days, they’re human just like us. Why should they feel bad and have photos of it plastered across a magazine for the world to see? But more than that, think about what message it is passing on to women everywhere. That we are not good enough, if we don’t look or behave a certain way, then it’s ok for us to be ridiculed.
If you haven’t read it before, I highly recommend having a ready of Nomipalony’s post ‘why I don’t read women’s magazines and why you shouldn’t either‘ as it pretty much says it all.
I haven’t bought them for years and I would urge you to ditch them this year if you do. You don’t need ghastly photos of celebrity women or gossip about how bad their lives are, which is probably untrue anyway. Focus instead on celebrating diversity, empowerment and other women’s successes.
Photo Filters Apps and Airbrushing
You know the apps I mean. They make your skin blemish free, your eyes that little bit bigger and your teeth that little bit whiter. Delete them.
I have a confession to make, I have used them before too, but no more. In 2019 you will not find a tweaked image of me on the blog and that’s a promise. Because they create this false perception of beauty, an unattainable image that doesn’t even exist. What are we telling our children, our daughters if we cannot stand and be proud of who we are, of our bodies, if we can’t put a picture up on Facebook without running it through an app? Would we want them to think they are not perfect just the way they are? Let’s instead celebrate true beauty, blemishes and all.
If I could, I would change airbrushing in all publications. I actually believe it should be disclosed on in image, in the same way that bloggers have to disclose commercial relationships. I’ve love to see images where it says ‘models thighs, stomach and complexion have all been air-brushed’ so that everyone can see just how truly unreal an image is.
I might not be able to stop that, but if I can do anything it is to urge you to banish it out of your own lives and social media feeds. Embrace you, just as you are.
The Belief That One Sizes Fits All or That Skinny is Best
I’m not here to bash slim women in the slightest. I want us to celebrate all shapes and sizes. I want women to embrace their natural shape and size. At the same time I don’t want to endorse women starving themselves to set an ideal set by the fashion industry.
Last week, it was reported that pop star Bebe Rexha has been told by fashion designers that she is too big for them to dress her for the Grammy awards. She is a UK size 12. It’s this sort of nonsense that is why eating disorders are on the rise all over the world. Wouldn’t it be amazing if fashion models were all sorts of shapes and sizes, just like normal women are in the real world?
But the notion that women are somehow less attractive because they’re bigger, shorter, have thighs that meet, grey hair, red hair, laughter lines that apparently we should all botox away needs to stop. And we as women can influence that, celebrate who you are, do not forever strive for something that costs too much to achieve. Choose clothes you want to wear, not what you think you should wear.
Let’s all work together to build women up and not break them down. Celebrate healthy and happy, not unattainable and elitist. Eat to nourish our bodies and not to punish it. Exercise to grow strong, not to make us skinny. Applaud success and not revel in another’s misery. Even better share pictures of it on social media and let’s normalise our differences.
Let’s ditch this toxicity from our lives in 2019. Because equality means all women are equal, just as much as it means women are equal to men.