Please Don’t Comment on the Size of my Bump

Please Don't Comment on the Size of my Bump

Please Don’t Comment on the Size of my Bump

Pregnancy is a funny thing, it’s an amazing experience the creation of this human being inside of you, and it’s one that other people enjoy watching and getting excited about too. The children and I diligently check my pregnancy app once a week to see how the baby is growing an developing week on week and it’s fascinating.

But there is also something about the experience which suddenly makes your body open property for people to comment and have an opinion on.

I know some people have strangers come up and touch them, this is not something I have really experienced. But what everyone seems to have an opinion on is the size of my bump.

Disclosure – the picture above is not of me, I’m far too chicken to take a picture of my naked bump and if you follow my social media you may have noticed a distinct lack of bump pictures on my feed – there is a reason for that. But what I do know, is that my bump has been big throughout this pregnancy, but this is not unexpected I was the same with my daughter. This time, after my 12 week scan, when I started telling people, two people asked me if I had actually had my 20 week scan instead of my 12.

The rest of my pregnancy so far has followed the same trend, at 30 weeks, I could easily be mistaken for full term. And, if I’m honest most people I meet seem to have an opinion on it. I’ve lost count of the comments from wow you’re going to be big, are you sure your dates are right, to the perhaps to more polite people that try to keep a straight face but their eyes slightly widen then you tell them you have at least 9 weeks to go. One lady when I was pregnant with Aria when I was full term actually had a disagreement with me in the street as she refused to believe I wasn’t having twins.

The thing is, I’ve started to feel self conscious, embarrassed even, about the size of my bump. The winter was ok as I could hide it behind my winter coat, but with spring on the horizon and my baby blooming, the time for hiding is over and I’m starting to feeling terribly uncomfortable about it.

I have no control over the size of my bump. I have been pretty measured with my eating so far in pregnancy, I have no wish to put on lots of weight like I have before and so I have been aware of that. But apart from that, what will be will be. Yes, it’s uncomfortable and my back and hips are seriously aching having such a large bump. I’m still managing to average 10k steps a day, sometimes even 15k. I’ve made a vow to myself to stay as active as I can. Both my baby and I are healthy, to date at least there is no sign of gestational diabetes and my blood pressure is spot on. But, yes, I am big.

With Aria I was worried if I was going to be able to fit behind the steering wheel at the end. Getting tops to stretch over became a challenge. I’ve compared photos and I am a little smaller so far this time around, of course that could change.

I’ve started to pre-empt the comments now, making flippant remarks about how big I am or if you catch me on a bad day you might get a tight smile. I particularly hate it when a comments makes my cheeks flush and I somehow feel ashamed of the growing life inside of me. It makes me feel like I am doing something wrong and awkward.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that a lot of these comments are not meant in an unkind way. That pregnancy is a wondrous time and people are interested. Which is lovely. When people ask how I am I am always grateful for their interest and kindness, but please before you comment on the size of my bump or any woman’s pregnant body just pause for a moment and think how those comments might make them feel.

3 thoughts on “Please Don’t Comment on the Size of my Bump”

  1. I had similar, but I was very small for dates & people’s comments & facial expressions made me feel I was failing even at the start of my journey into motherhood. At about 32 weeks, I had again been kept in hospital due to concerns over regular contractions & low amniotic fluid levels. The midwives advised me to attend a meeting of prospective parents to talk about the unit & procedures & birth plans… everyone in the room thought I was in the wrong place & wouldn’t believe my dates. It was horrible.

    Reply
    • Yes I can imagine it goes both ways if you have a small bump too. Everybody carries differently. It makes you feel so awkward doesn’t it, like you’re doing something wrong.

      Reply
  2. I can imagine how frustrating it would be. I have had times when people have commenting on circumstances in my life and I got so sick of it i started saying not so nice things… like when someone kept asking me when i was having kids. (I was trying but it was not happening) so i turned around and said i hated kids. It wasn’t true. I was just mad but it did not help that I was looking after his two kids once a week at church lol! oops!

    Reply

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