One Peaceful Evening
As I am writing this, the house is quiet. The usual things are whirring in the background of course. The washing machine because I chucked in a nappy wash, the TV – although I think I may turn that off soon and have a peaceful read, the odd snuffle from the baby monitor and there’s the dog’s snoring. But the children are asleep and my husband has gone out for the evening.
There are some days I crave this peaceful time like a recovering addict, freedom to just curl up and turn my brain off. To allow myself to have space and remember a fraction of the woman I was before I was a Mum. Not that I ever want to be her again, but there are days I miss her. There are also days where it’s a great time to be productive and get some work done too.
Parenting takes us all by surprise, the intensity, the exhaustion, the whirl of emotions. From the intense, all-consuming love to the crazy frustration. There are some days I think that young children sleep for a long time because it is nature’s way of helping parents survive. Days when I start counting down until bedtime from lunchtime, because my children are driving me so ridiculously crazy.
One of my favourite times is when we sneak into our children’s rooms just before my husband and I go to bed and check on them. Children look so angelic when they sleep, so amazingly wonderful. I sometimes just look and think.. I made you and that’s amazing.
Then there’s that moment where a wail of a cry comes through on the baby monitor and I think, no, not now, I just need to get this done or I just need to rest, or even finish my dinner and I feel guilty. There are other evenings where I think the house seems too quiet, like it’s missing something.
The greatest thing about parenthood that took me by surprise is how fast it seems to be passing. How is my oldest nearly 4? I watched him at his swimming lessons last week, he got a bit overwhelmed with it all, then the teacher called him the wrong name by accident and he crumbled. Full on sobs in the pool. The teacher pulled him into his arms, and comforted him and I realised I needed to step back, it wasn’t the time for me to swoop in. I could be a good Mum in this instance by letting someone else comfort my child and allowing him learn and to see that he could do this. In a year he will be at school, and I am so not ready for him to go yet. But parenting is a process of slowly letting go and giving your children the skills to flourish on their own.
So as I sit here for my much anticipated quiet evening, I must remember if a cry comes, for whatever reason it may be, to embrace it because in years to come I will have a quiet evening and wish I was running up to comfort a crying child instead.
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I feel the same way Laura. It’s so nice to have the peace & quiet but at the same time, I’m thankful for the cries, it’s what motherhood is all about. Such a lovely post, I feel like I’m sitting in your kitchen with you right now x
Thank you Becky 🙂
I’m not always grateful of the cries I have to admit, but I do try to remember that this time flies so quickly.
Great post, I pretty much relate to all of this!
I feel a sense of relief when Aria goes to bed as I know I can finally get things done, or do nothing if I like. If I hear a scream on the monitor it is always at an inconvenient time.
It is almost as if I never have time, apart from that before bed look in, I can stand there and watch her for ages.
I just love watching them sleep, they look so amazing don’t they? And they always cry and the worst times and then I feel guilty for thinking like that x
i have to admit the 44th time of an evening my kids call me from the top of the stairs I could cry but you’re right- it does all go to quick and my teenager tells me to go away rather than call me up so I’ll enjoy these years while I have them.Lovely post xx #picknmix
Ha yes there are times when you think please, please just go to sleep! But I also think the time seems to be whizzing by in a flash.
Reading your post made me actually think of work again… giving it up full stop or carry on working, because while the kids are growing, I know I’m missing something while I’m at work. I don’t want to regret in a few years time when I want to give them a cuddle, they’re already too big and doesn’t want mummy cuddles anymore. It’s a confusing decision and until now I’m still battling with it. Anyway, beautifully written post! #momsterslink
Thank you Cheryl it took me about 15 months to come to the decision to give up traditional work and it wasn’t an easy one, you’ll know in your heart when it comes what the right thing to do is x
I love to check on my little girl when she is sleeping! Like yours she looks so angelic and then she wakes up! lol I guess the point is our children do grow fast and we must cherish each day and moment as time fly’s so quickly! Our babies grow old and before we know it, they will be teenagers lol.
Thanks so much for linking up to #PositivelyPosted. A great post! Angela xx
Oh no I am so not ready for them to be teenagers… shh 😉 x
I feel the exact way than you!! How amazing are those days where you can have some time just for you without having any interruption. That is priceless!! Watching your kids sleep peacefully is the most beautiful part of parenting. Lovely post, xx
#momsterslink
I know it is the battle with the need to get things done versus worrying that the time is flying by far, far too quickly x
Oh i totally know what you mean! I wish for it to be bedtime but as soon as it is bedtime i miss that i wont see him until morning – even if he goes for a nap im like ‘Wake up, i miss you!’ Great read and thank you for sharing! Suz x beauisblue.com
Thanks Suz 🙂 being a parent is such a contradiction sometimes is it not?
This really touched my heart, Laura. I literally JUST walked down the stairs from a frustrating moment in which my daughter was crying over something silly rather than taking her nap. I’m frustrated (did I already mention that?), and I’m tired. You just reminded me that I will one day wish for my little girl to be small again. Thank you for this. It came to me at the perfect time. #positivelyposted
Aww Katie I am so moved by your comment thank you. Frustration and tiredness are killers when you’re a parent – I was up for hours last night so I am right there with you. I am so glad to have helped xx
What a sweet post and a great reminder that we need to cherish the moments while they are young and still need us.
Thank you Julie 🙂 x
I can really relate to this. There are days where I count down the minutes until bedtime (and feel so guilty for it) then Oliver has a lie in and I want to wake him as I miss him. Being a parent if full of so many contradicting feelings, isn’t it?
Becky-LittleOandme
#Momsterslink
It really is. It’s exhausting, amazing, love filled and frustrating all at the same time x
I try to remind myself DAILY that one day I will be an empty nester. I know it seems like years now but they are flying by at lightning speed and sometimes I get sad thinking about it. My husband on the other hand is counting the days to us being alone and just the two of us. It’s never been just the two of us as he had 2 boys when we got together. We have never been on a vacation without kids. I am not sure I will like him much when it’s just the two of us….just kidding…I think **winks** But I totally agree with what you are saying Laura …love my me time but have to remember to cherish motherhood. Thank you for sharing with #momsterslink.
Oh I am going to be such an empty nester lol – I will drive my husband mad 😉
Time definitely goes too fast, my eldest is 11 now and starting secondary very soon eek! Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix especially with such cute photos 🙂
Stevie xx
Aww thanks photos of little ones sleeping are always adorable 🙂
So very true they grow up very quickly. I will try and remember this when I am up and down to Ava. She’s not sleeping well at the moment. Thanks for linking to #picknmix
It’s so hard when they don’t sleep well isn’t it – we’ve had a bad week too due to illness I hope it improves for you x